


We Die Together

by CainReprobus



Category: Hatoful Kareshi | Hatoful Boyfriend
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, Suffering, lots of suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-24 21:10:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4935496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CainReprobus/pseuds/CainReprobus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Look at me I'm finally all alone.<br/><i>I'll miss you.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sry this chapter is so short lmao

He stared, he stared, and he stared at the empty bed. It had been made very nicely, with perfect hospital corners and well-tucked sheets. Unfortunately, no one would ever sleep in it again. Hitori wanted to tear it apart and make it look lived in, to fling clothes on the ground so it seemed like someone had been there. He had made that bed for his brother to come back to, but now... now he was gone. Nageki Fujishiro would never come back. He was never going to come back.

"Nageki..." Hitori whispered. The word was heavy in his mouth. He had whispered it every night to himself since he had sent his brother off to try and find a cure for the strange disease that ailed him. He had held onto a weak hope, a hope that any day now, he would receive a letter that Nageki was doing better than ever and was on his way home. But the letters he received only grew more and more disheartening, until Hitori knew in his heart that something was wrong.

"Nageki... Nageki..."

With a sudden desperation, he had travelled to the lab where he knew his beloved brother was being kept. It was shockingly easy for him to break in, but that was to be expected of someone who would go to such great lengths for someone he cared about. He darted through hallways, glanced in and out of labs, the whole while, his entire body shaking. A panic seemed to be growing among the staff. Hitori, disguised as a scientist, had listened in on one man's desperate cries.

"It's 00! He's on fire!"

"What? You mean he's showing tremendous progress?"

"No! He's literally _burning!_ "

"Oh, _fuck!_ Souma's going to have our asses fired!"

Hitori could smell the smoke.

"Nageki. Nageki. Nageki."

He burst down the stairs to the final corridor.

"Nageki. Nageki. Nageki."

The smoke billowed in through the doors.

"Nageki! Nageki! _Nageki!_ "

"Hitori..."

He tried to save him. He tried to save him.

"Nageki... _Nageki..._ "

It was too late.

Now, staring at the far too well-made bed, Hitori felt a void where his heart used to be, and a thirst for revenge was burning in his heart.

Yes, burning. Literally burning. Burning like Nageki. In fact, it was Nageki. Nageki would be burning eternally within him until he made him pay for what he did. Until he made Isa Souma pay for what he did.

"Na... ge... ki..."

It didn't take him long to realize what it was that had to happen. It was a necessary sacrifice. A necessary lie. It was all for Nageki. His own feelings didn't matter. Only Nageki's.

Nageki.

Nageki.

He would avenge Nageki. 

Even if it was the last thing he would ever do, he would fulfill his destiny. With a newfound vigor to complete his mission, Hitori ran into his bathroom. He pulled a bottle of hair dye out from the cabinet and his cell phone out of his pocket.

He dialed a number. A click on the other end and a faint hello were his signal to begin.

"Kazuaki..." He started, a genuine sadness audible in his usually monotone voice, "Darling, let's disappear."


	2. Chapter 2

He pulled up to Kazuaki's apartment building in a somewhat old, black Mercedes that was still in good condition. He really put a lot of effort into preserving that car. He liked it. In fact, he'd made quite a few memories in that car back in college.

Good times... Good times.

However, now was not the time for him to be pondering such good times. The times ahead of him were by no means going to be good. As planned, Kazuaki was waiting outside, dressed in a long beige jacket and a shawl-like scarf. His unkempt blonde hair was hanging in his face, but it was clear to Hitori that, as usual, he was crying. Hitori's face was solemn as Kazuaki approached the car and fumbled with the passenger side door, finally opening it and sliding apathetically into the seat.

"H- Hey..." he mumbled, twirling that one piece of his hair that always seemed to stick up. It was something he had always done, especially when anxious. Hitori laughed bitterly, wordlessly putting the car into reverse and backing out of the parking space he'd been idling in.

"Hello."

"S- So..." Kazuaki whimpered, looking in Hitori's direction. Hitori didn't take his eyes off the road. He knew that if he looked at him, he would have a lot of difficulty following through with the plan. He kept reminding himself: The surgery was scheduled for tomorrow morning. The hair dye was ready to be used. Kazuaki's closet was ready to be raided, his apartment ready to be lived in.

"Hitori" was going to disappear.

"Y- You... you don't have to do this, Hitori... You d- don't have to die with me..." 

Hitori reached over to Kazuaki hesitantly and took his hand in his, "Nageki is gone. You're all I have. It's about time we ended it all... don't you agree?"

Kazuaki could only nod, but Hitori didn't see. As he steered with his left hand and held Kazuaki's with his right, he kept his eyes glued to the road. Kept his mind glued to his plan.

The rest of the drive was silent save for Kazuaki's whimpering and sniffling. Hitori could only be described as "dead inside." His expression remained stoic, his posture upright, in contrast with Kazuaki's distressed complexion and hunched physique. This was how he grieved, Kazuaki supposed. It wasn't unlike Hitori to be quiet when he was sad.

In half an hour, they reached their destination. After parking the car on the side of the road in the middle of a vast plain, Hitori and Kazuaki stepped outside. The cold wind howled past them, only solidifying the mood. Hitori tugged his scarf tighter around his neck. Kazuaki sniffled.

"A- Are you sure n- no one will-" Kazuki wiped his tears on his sleeve, "No one will find us?"

Hitori nodded, still refusing to make eye contact. While he denied it, he knew deep inside him, past where Nageki burned, if he looked his love in the eyes, there was no way he'd be able to do it. He simply kept his gaze averted and focused on the truth.

Nageki. This was all for Nageki.

"I'm sure," he muttered. His voice was lower than it usually was; more serious, more empty, "Come here."

Taking his hand again, Hitori guided him into the tall grass of the plain. Kazuaki stopped short.

"W- What if we get ticks?"

"We're dying. Do you think Lyme disease is going to matter then?"

"Oh... Oh yeah..." Kazuaki whispered, and he followed him further out. Hitori stared up at the stars as they walked. They were so brilliant. Vast. There were millions of them. Billions. So many that they couldn't even see.

"The stars are pretty tonight," Hitori began, sitting down once he figured they had gotten far enough away. Kazuaki squeezed his hand and Hitori's heart sank through his chest. Was this regret he was feeling? Before the deed was even done? This would not do. He gulped and attempted to ignore the sensation within him.

"Th- They really are..." Kazuaki said, managing a soft smile. Hitori squeezed his hand back.

There was a brief silence, and as Hitori was about to speak, Kazuaki beat him to it.

"Hitori..."

"Hm?"

Kazuaki laid himself back in the grass, staring up at the starry sky. Still refusing to look at him, Hitori followed suit.

"When we die, Hitori... Let's have a star."

"Have a star? What do you mean?"

"I mean... let's live on one. We can be together forever there. No one would hurt us. And we could always look out and see the other stars. Shining and pretty, but so far away."

Hitori paused. That was a very romantic notion. However, he had no plans to die tonight.

"That sounds wonderful," he murmured, this time squeezing Kazuaki's hand, "We'll die, and we'll live on a star."

"Together."

"Of course. Together."

After a few minutes passed, just looking at the stars, Hitori drew a bottle out of his pocket. He sat up, dumped half the pills into his hand, and beckoned for Kazuaki to rise as well. Once he was upright, Hitori dumped the other half of the bottle into his palm.

"S- So we just... swallow them all? And then... we die?"

"Yeah. Then we die."

Kazuaki nodded, "Y- You first."

Hitori laughed, clasping Kazuaki's free hand in his, "No, you moron. We do this together."

"Hitori... I'm scared."

"Don't be, my dear. Soon we'll have our star."

Kazuaki nodded and stared at the palmful of pills. Hitori squeezed his hand one last time.

"On the count of three."

"O- Okay."

"One."

Kazuaki took a deep breath.

"Two."

They lifted their hands to their lips.

"Three."

They dumped the pills into their mouths.

Kazuaki swallowed.

A smile came over him and he lay back down. Hitori, however, didn't join him. He spat out the pills into the grass around him. It didn't take long for Kazuaki to catch on.

"H- Hitori...? Hitori!"

"I'm sorry."

"H- Hitori! W- What are you doing?"

"I had no choice. I had to do this. Life is a terrible, awful place. This is true. But I have a lot more to do. I can't die now."

" _Hitori!_ I thought you loved me!" Kazuaki began sobbing, attempting to get up from the ground, but the medicine had already begun to take affect, "Hitori! I love _you!_ "

Hitori couldn't stand listening to it any longer. Without even looking back, he started walking away. When the crying started to fade, he knew it was done, and although he couldn't hear, Hitori whispered as he walked.

"I know. I love you too."


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Hitori was blonde. His house was eerie. Empty. Without Nageki there, it was useless to him. Today he started a new life. Today he became Kazuaki. 

In that way, he supposed, they would be together forever.

Upon stumbling into the bathroom first thing upon waking up, he looked at himself in the mirror. His hair, newly dyed the night before when he returned from his... endeavor. It was an odd look for him. He figured it would look better once his rather seedy surgical procedure went underway.

Once Kazuaki's crying had died down, he'd collected the body. Said body, as it currently stood, was stowed in the shed in Hitori's backyard. He would deal with it later, to make sure it would never be found. After all, Hitori had been dead in the eyes of the media since the morning before when he was assumed to have perished alongside Nageki. The only person who knew the truth aside from his trusty underground surgeon was Kazuaki, and, well... That didn't matter now.

Upon fixing his newly blonde hair in the mirror, even though he wouldn't be seen by anyone except said underground surgeon, Hitori checked his watch. It was 9 AM. The surgeon was to arrive at 10, and from then on, he would never be Hitori again. He yawned. He was exhausted. True, he was always exhausted, but there was a particular potency in his exhaustion today. Perhaps it was because he had only slept for six hours. Nine is his usual requirement. 

Shrugging, he made his way into his living room and turned on the TV. Might as well enjoy the last few hours he'd ever live as himself. He flicked through the channels casually, as if he hadn't just killed a man. Spanish soap operas? Next. Detective shows. He grimaced. Definitely next. Animal planet. Just some lame documentary on quails. Who cares about quails?

He sighed. There is absolutely nothing good to watch on a Sunday morning, is there? For lack of a better idea, he simply turned on the news.

Despite only having around forty minutes before the doctor arrived, Hitori found himself falling asleep. Not that this was an abnormal occurrence. He figured it wouldn't hurt to close his eyes for just... another... half an hour.

He curled up into his blanket and started to nap. It was one of those naps during which he felt as though he was awake, however, he was in fact mostly asleep. His dream, however, was surreal and oddly alarming.

"... Kazuaki Nanaki, a twenty-four year old teacher... critical condition... suicide attempt... abnormally high tolerance..."

Hitori's eyes flickered open and he grimaced. What an unpleasant dream. He glanced at the clock. It was only 9:30. Had he really only been asleep for ten minutes? Strange. He closed his eyes again and hoped he wouldn't dream again.

"Mr. Nanaki was rushed to the hospital, and his condition has improved drastically overnight."

Hitori's eyes opened again, this time, wider than before. The noise was coming from the television, out of the mouth of a man in scrubs.

"We asked him he would allow us to do some testing on his strange bodily reaction, however he refused."

The man in scrubs was replaced with a news anchor, who finished the story with "Nanaki will attend two weeks of suicide rehabilitation, but will be released from the hospital tonight. Doctors and nurses are all saying that this is a once in a lifetime miracle."

 _W- What... No... He's dead... he_ must _be dead! I killed him myself!_

A panic blossomed in his gut and Hitori threw the blanket off his shoulders, fumbling for the remote with shaking hands. With his heart pounding in his chest and a ringing in his ears, he slammed the rewind button and watched the story from the beginning.

The news anchor repeated the part that had seeped into his sleep.

"Kazuaki Nanaki, a twenty-four year old teacher was found stumbling into a suburban home in critical condition after a failed suicide attempt. It appears that Nanaki displayed an abnormally high tolerance to the drugs he had dosed himself with, beating even his own predicted odds and surviving."

"No...." Hitori whispered, frozen in terror, "I... I'm hallucinating. He's dead. His body's in my..." His eyes flickered to the back of the room and he leapt from his couch, not even bothering to put on shoes as he dashed down his hallway and out the back door.

 _No. No. No. He's dead. I killed him. I_ killed _him!_

His bare feet slid on the dew-covered grass and he slipped in the mud as he ran, still shaking, to his shed. With wild, panicked, eyes, he flung it open.

Kazuaki was nowhere to be found.


	4. Chapter 4

"Fuck. Fuck... _Fuck!_ "

Hitori cursed loudly and slammed the shed door, clenching one fist and clutching a fistful of his hair in the other. Every part of his body trembling, he collapsed to his knees and punched the grass. No. This couldn't be. He was _dead_! He had checked! These drugs had never failed before... why did _now_ have to be the time?

The door hadn't shut, only bounced back open, swinging ominously in the wind with a taunting creak. 

_You idiot. You worthless idiot._

Hitori froze and his eyes flickered all around, up at the sky, back to the shed, to his yard's fences, to the grass below.

"N- Nageki..."

_I can't believe you couldn't do the one thing I wanted from you. Pathetic. Worthless. You'll never avenge me._

" _Nageki..._ " Hitori whimpered, still searching for somewhere, _anywhere_ that the voice may be coming from, hoping with all his corrupted heart that maybe, even though his words were harsh, Nageki would be standing there. Judging him. Judging him, but alive. Hitori laughed almost maniacally, in shock at his own terrible failure, "Nageki... please... I can... I can still do it... It's not over yet!"

_Ha. Sure. You've already failed, Hitori. You've failed me. You've failed me._

"No..." Hitori murmured, then tore himself up off the ground, "No! I'm going to do it, Nageki!"

_You've failed me. You've failed me. You've failed me._

Nageki's voice kept echoing in Hitori's ears as he ran back into his house. Still shaking, with rage, fear and distress, he shoved as much clothing as he possibly could into a suitcase. He raided his fridge and stuffed all of his bags into his car trunk. It was almost ten now, and the doctor would soon be arriving. That didn't matter anymore. He had to kill him. Somehow. Immediately. As almost an afterthought, he tossed a butcher knife into his suitcase.

_Stupid. Useless. Failure._

Hitori groaned and stuck his fingers in his ears, attempting to block Nageki's taunting voice from distracting him from his purpose. He scrambled for the car door and threw himself inside, one hand clinging to the steering wheel as the other fished his phone out of his pocket.

_You let me burn for nothing, Hitori. You let me burn. You let me burn._

"H- Hey," Hitori mumbled into his phone when the other picked up, still trying to ignore the angry voice inside him, "Alphonse. Y- Yeah. I'm gonna have to-"

_You've forsaken me. Betrayed me. I'll never forgive you._

"Agh! I- I'm cancelling our appointment... Yes, I-"

_Tch. Pathetic. You know he's already won. Your plan was stupid to begin with. You should have just gotten directly to the point._

"Ngh... I know it's in five minutes. I'll- I'll still pay you. I just-"

_Kill Isa Souma. Kill Isa Souma._

"Fuck! I have to go."

Hitori slammed the end call button and threw his phone into the passenger seat. Nageki's commanding voice was nearly overwhelming him, driving him madder than he already was.

"Nageki... Nageki. Nageki, I'm sorry..." Hitori muttered, over and over as he pulled out of his driveway and sped out onto the street. The voice continued to goad him, the guilt continued to fester. Where had they said Kazuaki was? The hospital. He surely couldn't kill him there, and surely he'd have tried to escape by now. His house, then. He'd wait at his house until he came home. There, he could end this.

The future consequences of his plan didn't cross his tortured mind. All he could think of was making Nageki happy. Doing what he needed to do. Kazuaki's image, however, did appear in his mind. Yet another guilt he would soon carry with him, but for now, simply a reminder of his glaring, pathetic mistake.

He knew the way to Kazuaki's house well. They had spent a lot of time together, after all. Nageki's voice was slowing to a soft lull as Hitori pulled into his (Ex? Yeah, probably ex.) boyfriend's driveway. Hitori smiled. This was it! Nageki would be happy, now, right?! The real plan would soon be underway!

Taking a deep breath, Hitori parked about two blocks away. He couldn't risk being conspicuous in murder. Calmly, still attempting to repress the (softer now) whispers of Nageki, Hitori stepped out of the car and rummaged through his trunk. He drew out the butcher knife and hid it with his scarf. Then, he made the harrowing short walk to his apartment building. He assumed he wasn't home, but there was no way of telling from outside. Kazuaki didn't have a car. Driving made him anxious, and crying behind the wheel was rather dangerous.

_Kill him. Kill him. Kill him!_

A sudden increase in Nageki's volume caused Hitori to groan and stumble slightly. He had never had a headache this bad in his life. But it was Nageki. It was all for Nageki.

"Okay!" Hitori hissed, "I'm _going_ to!" He just needed to wait a few hours for Kazuaki to be released from the hospital. Then, he could end this once and for all.

With Nageki's command growing louder and louder, Hitori caught a lucky break and slipped through the outside door as another tenant was leaving. He walked up the stairs and up to Kazuaki's door, tentatively gripping the doorknob. Strange... it was unlocked.

He stepped into the living room, drawing out his knife. It was empty. That was to be expected, but he had to find a good spot to hide. He had only taken a few steps into the room when he heard a terrifyingly calm voice from the doorway behind him.

"H- Hey, Hitori! I had a feeling I'd... run into you here..."

The color drained from his face. This was a bit shocking, he had to admit, but he could work with it. He'd simply kill him earlier. He closed his eyes and turned around slowly. When he opened them, he was face to face with exactly who he had expected. 

Kazuaki. And he was holding a gun.


	5. Chapter 5

"Heh... I see you... beat me home!"

Kazuaki stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, locking it as he did so. The gun in his hand was pointed directly at Hitori's skull. Or well, it was attempting to be. Kazuaki's arm was wavering greatly, and he could barely even keep himself on his feet.

Kazuaki's words were soft, breathy, and all too casual. Hitori, for the first time since, er, attempting to murder him, looked him in the eyes. They were dull and his complexion was weary. In fact, it seemed that he was staggering. If one didn't know better, they might assume that he was drunk and not under the heavy side affects of usually-lethal medicinal dosage. Hitori was at a loss for words. Why was he _here_? He shouldn't have been let out of the hospital for hours now.

"O- Oh," Kazuaki whispered, smiling faintly, but wincing and clutching his stomach, "I see you're a bit confused!" Hitori grimaced as it seemed like Kazuaki was going to vomit. However, he didn't, and kept his gun trained as well as he could on Hitori.

"Well, I was pretty confused too!" Kazuaki laughed bitterly, his soft smile melting into a frown. In fact, it seemed that tears were already streaming down his cheeks. The gun wavered in his hand as he choked out his words, "When you- Wh- When you..."

He burst into tears, unable to finish his thought. Hitori took this moment of hesitation to attempt to step forward and maybe knock the gun from his hands. As soon as he made the first step, Kazuaki was sniffling back his tears and holding the gun upright again. Hitori released a sharp breath. This would be harder than anticipated.

"I snuck out. I- I left the hospital. There was nothing worth staying for anyway. I knew I'd find you here. I knew." His voice was high and frantic, rambling on as though he couldn't quite put his thoughts together.

"Listen, Kazuaki..." Hitori started softly, holding out his hands defensively in front of him, "I... I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry."

Kazuaki stared silently for a moment before beginning to tear up again, this time, he seemed more fed up than sad.

"S- Sorry?" The single word only drew more tears from his light hazel eyes, "Ha... Hahaha... Don't lie to me, Hitori." He tried to laugh, but coughed on his own saliva, "I think you've done enough of that."

In all his years, Hitori had never been on the receiving end of a gun threat. Under normal circumstances, the fact that Kazuaki was the one holding the weapon would make the situation far less than intimidating. This time, though, it was easily the closest Hitori had ever been to immediate death.

"What am I supposed to say, then?" Hitori said, attempting to sound calm but his words were wavering and Nageki's voice was fading away, "I tried to kill you."

"Haha... Yeah... You did..." Kazuaki whispered, "You tried to kill me. And the only reason you didn't was..." He coughed, "My terrible luck."

"Terrible?" Hitori asked, looking the distressed Kazuaki in the eyes. If he was going to get out of this, it would have to be with his words, "I thought you decided you didn't want to die..."

"Not alone. I didn't want to die alone," Kazuaki muttered, staring down the wobbling barrel of his nine millimeter pistol, "You betrayed me... Hitori, you let me _die_. D- Do you even understand how-"

"Kazuaki," Hitori interrupted, "It was for Nage-"

His words were cut off and he was jolted by the sound of a Kazuaki cocking a round.

"H- Hitori," Kazuaki's voice took on a solemn, terrifying tone, but he was most certainly crying again, "I don't care. T- Talk again and..." He whined and sniveled in hesitation before continuing, "I'll shoot you."

Hitori's heart skipped a beat. Well, this was it. There was no hope for him now. Slowly and reluctantly, he nodded his head and kept his mouth shut.

_Nageki. Nageki. I'm sorry._

But he wouldn't respond.

"I wanted... to die with you..."

Kazuaki's words and his quiet sniffles were the only sound in the small apartment. Not even Nageki would break the guilt-ridden silence. Hitori wanted to scream. To rush at Kazuaki and finish this once and for all. But not only would he be shot if he moved...

But he'd looked into those forsaken, tear-stained eyes. He couldn't do it. Not again. He couldn't kill him again.

"You tried to make me die alone..." he continued, wiping his tears away with his free sleeve, "But now... I've been given a second chance."

With a sinking regret, Hitori realized what Kazuaki's plan was.

"Kazuaki!" Hitori blurted, "What are you thinki-"

A gunshot blared and echoed in the small room. Hitori instinctively ducked and covered his ears, but the bullet whizzed past him. In fact, if didn't even come close to him, simply lodged itself in the back wall of the room.

_"What the fuck? Was that a gunshot?"_

A faint voice from somewhere else in the apartment sounded and the clamoring of footsteps began. Kazuaki laughed faintly and smiled, gazing wistfully into Hitori's eyes.

"Ha... You're lucky I missed. We get to spend a few more precious moments together. Isn't that nice?"

Hitori was frozen as Kazuaki cocked the gun again, "Besides. I wouldn't break my promise. I don't lie like that." His voice cracked and he attempted to hold back his tears and maintain his dignity, "Like some people... Drop the knife. I- I know you have one. I know you're still ready to kill me and leave me alone."

_"Hey! What the fuck is going on in there?! Open up or I'm calling the police."_

Kazuaki ignored them, only stepped closer to Hitori, gun still pointed at his skull. The waver in his arm was no longer as prominent, and as the distance between them closed, it was surefire that the bullet would kill him without a doubt. Hitori had broken out into a cold sweat and could no nothing more than stare and remove the knife from where he'd hidden it, leaning down slowly and placing it on the ground. Kazuaki approached him step by step, crying all the while. When suddenly the gun was pressed to Hitori's temple, he squeezed his eyes shut.

_"I can hear you in there- what's going on. I'm calling the cops!"_

Hitori tried to find the words to say. But with a gun pointed directly at his head and a threat of death if he uttered a word, it was impossible to find it in him.

He was done for. This was it.

"You promised me forever."

Kazuaki's voice cried in his ear, and the gun was removed from his head. Before any relief could set in, Kazuaki placed his head against Hitori's and the gun against his own.

"When I survived against all odds, it made me realize. Made me realize that this is my job, not yours. Yesterday, you left me to die alone. But today..." Kazuaki took a deep breath and Hitori finally broke his silence all too late.

"K- Kazuaki- no! I-"

Post his final words, Kazuaki pulled the trigger.

"Today, Hitori... We die together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew, thanks for reading!! i cant believe i did this tbh


End file.
